I really have got to get better at prioritising. As ever there are several writing projects I have on the go at the moment that demand my attention. In the level headed and well organised times I can leap like a froggy over the backs of all that needs to be done and refocus my attention on whatever needs doing, one thing after another. Then I get tired or I decide that everything’s as important as everything else it must all therefore be done right now. That’s when I get a bit wide-eyed and confused and consequently don’t do much of anything at all. It’s a matter of pacing oneself I suppose, but I’m not very good at that.
Still, this week I’ve managed to do another draft on my short film. I really like this one and I want to try and get it made. I’m a little wary as I’ve felt the same about other projects before and grown to like them less after they were finished and I could see to clearly their short comings. To greater or lesser degree that will always be the case I guess, but I’ve spent a lot of time developing this script and if it can be any better I’m not sure I know how.
Wrote a little thing, and also continued with work on the podcast. I think I mentioned before that the end seems to keep running off to the horizon every time we get near it and I’ve felt a little like that this week. My inclination is to impose a schedule that will bring it to fruition quicker, but I know that will fall on its bottom and I’ll feel bad for having not met it. So I’m going to take it at the speed at which it’s necessary for it to develop in a nice sun-ripened organic kind of way. I think I will try and dedicate myself to it exclusively until Christmas (after that I really should get onto that short story thing I was planning on doing since July).
It is often difficult to find the willpower to carry on when all you’re facing are questions and uncertainties with your work, approaches that haven’t succeeded and the foggy feeling that perhaps you’re walking in circles and not moving forward to that glossy finished product you imagined all that time ago. I’ve recently been going along to a drama workshop and the group leader there had some words to say about the trial and error of rehearsal. He said (with better phrasing than this) that we should embrace failure at this early stage, to encourage and anticipate it. It is through trying that you explore the nature of that which you are trying to create. Answers aren’t likely to come to you while when you sit there (and even if they do then it’s not by virtue of a learned methodology that you can reproduce). Embrace the failure! Only after you’ve walked all the dead ends will you know the road your on is the way through.