What I was doing was…

Developing my thinking on a funding proposal for my one man show and continuing to brainstorm around the concept. Barely got anywhere with the proposal the had to drag myself to what ended up being an energised brainstorming session. I saw that my intentions for the work I see aren’t clear enough yet so I wrote a vomit-stream in plain terms about what I know I want which and then I got on my feet, cleared the furniture and turned the Metallica up to get into brainstorming. I felt fucking despondent and alone with it today, low motivation and sluggishly self flagellating from an armchair which I saw wasn’t helping and I felt better once I’d been honest about what I want and revisited the show concept which had me feeling excited again. Next I am going to continue developing the concept and story (and that’ll help keep me excited and connected) and with the proposal stuff I will work from what I know and seek help from others.