Death Inn, Venice

Close to where I work they are building a hotel. It is a nationwide chain, the kind that offers rooms for people away on business or waiting for a plane, that kind of thing. The sort that are vomited out by bored giants, sick from concrete biliousness, onto junctions and roundabouts up and down the country. The sort that feature the same decor and layout wherever you book in, an

Eyeballs & Traffic

Often when I am in a moment of high spirits at the understanding that life is going well for me I imagine that I will be hit by a car. This isn’t the beginning of a weird Crash fantasy or anything, just my go-to imaginarium artifact labeled ‘Massive Inconvenience’. Because it would be really, being hit by a car and having your legs knocked out from under you, sending you

Obobituary

I feel compelled to write a few words about Obob the clown, following his death last week from denial and respiratory failure, and because today would have been his birthday. Obob was a backwards clown. This is not to say he was a retarded entertainer, in fact he was one of the brightest men I have ever known. His clown persona was based on doing everything backwards. A simple notion,

Flight Potential

Once When I was a child I could fly. Ok that’s a small lie, it was more like prolonged levitation. But it was the untapped beginnings of a very real power that I now only occasionally recall I ever had. It may seem an odd admission to now make, for surely such an ability would have been much tested and documented and I would have be known far and away

Nagy Kifli, Kicsit Kifli

Which would you rather be, a spoon or a pastry? Or, more to the point, which better describes how you feel when you’re lying with that special someone? That magic intimate time (for what else than magic is it when, no matter what their size, people lying together in bed are somehow exactly the same height as each other?) that we Brits, and Americans too it seems, and maybe others,